This year I have learned some very valuable lessons. The first lesson is that everything, and anything, can change. I think I knew this before, but this year I really really learned it-- I saw it happen. Never had I ever felt more less in control than I did this year-- literally at the mercy of God.
I also learned that I have so much more capacity to learn-- sometimes, when I really feel that I understand something-- a new thing occurs that brings even greater enlightenment, making me realize that I really didn't know as much as I did before.
This was the year I planned my wedding-- this was also the year that I didn't get married. This was the year I went to Germany-- this was also the year where I really learned what it means to have a home. This was the year I started my senior year of college-- this was also the year where I realized I still have a long way to go before I will be a teacher-- regardless of when I graduate. This was the year I really understood that God is in control and that I am never alone-- this was also the year that I felt more alone than I ever have in my life.
But when I think about it all, I am not filled with sadness-- even though there have been moments of extreme pain, fear and loneliness-- I am filled with hope. This is Christmas Eve. Two thousand years ago, my Savior was born in a manger, and angels were singing in the sky. He is hope. He is peace. And if He is there, then I will always be okay. Like the stars that shined so bright that night in Bethlehem, His love shines inside me and heals me.
If this year coming up is anything like the last, I think I should feel afraid. But I'm not. For the angel said, "Fear not, for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a savior, which is Christ the Lord."
and this is the year you won't think you can, but will start writing that book hidden in your heart. I love your writing.
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