Nine Things To Think About When Talking To Pregnant People

Okay. So I am 39 and a half weeks pregnant. For those who don't know what that means, it means that I am VERY pregnant and the baby could come any day. I have a theory: God gave us pregnancy to help us cultivate the patience needed to have and raise a kid. Just a theory. However, I think it can be supported by this observation: you really have to wait. A long time. And not just to meet your bundle of joy. But to be done with sore legs and skin hurting because it is being stretched too tight, and random pains, and walking so slowly that snails outstrip you when you go out for your daily waddle. A woman who is pregnant deals with a lot. Which is fine. In fact, most days I am proud of myself. I am growing a person, for goodness' sake. But seriously, the thing that is hardest to deal with is people.

So all those who have pregnant friends, or see a pregnant person on the street, give ear. I don't know if this is true for every pregnant woman, but it is true for me.

1. Refrain from asking, "Have you had the baby yet?" Especially in person. Because, CLEARLY, I haven't. The belly is still there, and my arms are still not holding that something the size of a loaf of bread.

2. Please stop asking when I am due. Did you know that only 3-4% of women have babies on their actual "due" date? Asking me when I am due stresses me out, because I am trying not to think about it. It makes me impatient. It makes me feel like I am being put on a schedule. Women really have a due month. An exact date does nothing. False hope.

3. Talk to me about something other than my pregnancy. I am still me. I still have thoughts, hobbies, talents, and enjoy doing things with my friends. I know it is hard to ignore, but seriously, sometimes, ignore the bump and just talk to me. About life. Politics. That weird funny movie you saw last week.

4. I love it when people offer to help me out. It makes me feel like people are thinking about me, and that I can count on them. The last few weeks of pregnancy are really hard, both emotionally and physically, and sometimes, it is super difficult to function. So thank you.

5. Don't suggest or veto names. Even if the name is horrible, even if you feel like the child will be condemned to a life of shame. Because only the baby's parents' opinion really matters when it comes to choosing names. Either pretend to like the name they like, or simply nod and tell them that you are super excited for them.

6. Pregnant people are sometimes hypocrites. We want to go about life as normal, and want people to treat us just the same, because pregnancy isn't a disease. Until something DOES go wrong, and then we feel like people should just intuitively know that we can't do it, because obviously, we're pregnant.

7. Cravings are real. Not in the same way people crave chocolate, but often, there really is only one thing that sounds good. And it usually isn't saltines.

8. Emotions are real. Sure pregnancy puts you on a lovely hormonal roller-coaster, but in the moment, emotions are real. Treat them real.

9. We love our babies and will try to do the best for them. Advice is nice. Gifts are nice. Both are appreciated. But ultimately, the mom is the one who tries to do what is best for baby. Be positive. If she is breast feeding, support her. If she chooses to bottle feed, support her. If she is trying to have a natural, unmedicated birth, BE POSITIVE. Support her. If she fails, don't say "I told you so," but tell her she has a lovely son or daughter, and support her. Judgement is for judges or Jesus. If you aren't either of those, just don't do it.