Fish need water. I need water.
Fish need food. I need food.
Fish come in many different colors. I also can change color.
Fish die if the water gets too cold. I also die if the water gets to cold.
Fish don't like dirt. I don't like dirt.
Fish have green eyes. I have green eyes.
Fish are super gullible. I'm super gullible.
Fish get away when scared. I get away when scared.
Fish don't like fishing. I don't like fishing.
Fish think sharks are scary. I think sharks are scary.
Therefore... I am a lot like a fish.
(note to all. I wrote this when thirsty)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Recycle the Empties?
Lately I have been feeling... a bit empty.
Empty life that is full of work. Empty cupboards-- empty stomach. Empty house. Empty. Empty. Empty.
All I have left to say is... some empty things are better to throw out and not really ever return to.
And not recylcing these ones may actually prove better for the environment.
Empty life that is full of work. Empty cupboards-- empty stomach. Empty house. Empty. Empty. Empty.
All I have left to say is... some empty things are better to throw out and not really ever return to.
And not recylcing these ones may actually prove better for the environment.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
And they said she was classy...
so... I have been pouring my blood, sweat and (I am ashamed to admit it) tears into a wonderful land. This land is known as the world of Classic Landscapes. Yes it is a company. Yes... we work long hours and operate skid steers and shovel rocks and dirt and slap mosquitoes all day.
But, as one of my coworkers has so eloquently stated, You have to be classy in order to work at Classic.
So I have compiled a list.
This is the list of steps that must be taken to be Classic-ly classy:
1. You must look at least somewhat presentable dirty. Dirt gets everywhere. And it usually doesn't come out. So... Get used to the dirt, because it'll be on you for a while.
2. You must tan. But, this tan cannot be without glaring obvious tan lines in the following areas: a sock line (white feet), a neck line (brown neck, white back), a glove line (white hands) and last, but certainly not least: The Classic Farmer's Tan.
3. You must have the ability to eat relatively the same thing every day. And, the classiest of these meals: veggie alphabet soup-- straight from the can. Pack two cans and your can opener, and its almost like a granola bar. Just eat and toss the wrapper in the dumpster (we're way too classy for garbage cans).
4. You must be redundant, disorganized, and inefficient. In that order. Everything must be said at least three times. And don't bother asking very intelligent questions... no one will answer you. But, ask a stupid one, and somebody will be right there to tell you why that was stupid question.
5. You must master the art of speaking over walkie talkies. Of course, talking when someone else is is the most classy option. Nothing says class like a bunch of garbled static when two people try to speak at the same time on a group radio channel. Always say things twice, just to make sure you were heard-- and don't forget, classy people always shout things into the radio.
6. You must always look less smart than you are. Don't bother to take the time to tell customers and other co-workers that you are really a pre-med student or going into law. That really takes classy points off of your tally. This isn't brain surgery-- it's landscaping. Everyone knows more than you-- let them at least think that you have class.
Six fail safe ways to a classy life. You know, I love my job.
But, as one of my coworkers has so eloquently stated, You have to be classy in order to work at Classic.
So I have compiled a list.
This is the list of steps that must be taken to be Classic-ly classy:
1. You must look at least somewhat presentable dirty. Dirt gets everywhere. And it usually doesn't come out. So... Get used to the dirt, because it'll be on you for a while.
2. You must tan. But, this tan cannot be without glaring obvious tan lines in the following areas: a sock line (white feet), a neck line (brown neck, white back), a glove line (white hands) and last, but certainly not least: The Classic Farmer's Tan.
3. You must have the ability to eat relatively the same thing every day. And, the classiest of these meals: veggie alphabet soup-- straight from the can. Pack two cans and your can opener, and its almost like a granola bar. Just eat and toss the wrapper in the dumpster (we're way too classy for garbage cans).
4. You must be redundant, disorganized, and inefficient. In that order. Everything must be said at least three times. And don't bother asking very intelligent questions... no one will answer you. But, ask a stupid one, and somebody will be right there to tell you why that was stupid question.
5. You must master the art of speaking over walkie talkies. Of course, talking when someone else is is the most classy option. Nothing says class like a bunch of garbled static when two people try to speak at the same time on a group radio channel. Always say things twice, just to make sure you were heard-- and don't forget, classy people always shout things into the radio.
6. You must always look less smart than you are. Don't bother to take the time to tell customers and other co-workers that you are really a pre-med student or going into law. That really takes classy points off of your tally. This isn't brain surgery-- it's landscaping. Everyone knows more than you-- let them at least think that you have class.
Six fail safe ways to a classy life. You know, I love my job.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
welcome home... to Canada?
I have to say that I have always been proud to be Canadian. I think most people are proud of their countries, and I really do think this one is a great one-- and not just because of the bacon or the maple syrup or even both of those eaten together. I grew up here.
So why, now, for the very first time in my life, do I feel like I left home to come here? It is a sad thing indeed when Provo Utah becomes so special to me that I am angry when I can't find coconut m&m's and when I look out the window and all the snow hasn't even melted yet.
Canada... have I betrayed you? Could I really have fallen in love with something else... the bigger, flashier, somewhat more proud, aggressive, arrogant and ignorant older sister who features bad chocolate and poor produce and heart disease?
I feel now, so very torn. I have never experienced this before. Always Canada has represented peace for me. And love. And joy. And kinder surprises. And good yogurt.
But America holds many people that I love. So, as I sit in Canada, my homeland, I have decided that I really want to be with you, people that I love. And most of you happen to live in America. Darn you all, for making the home for my heart move somewhere else.
So... for all you people, American loves of mine, I hope you feel honoured. I have left Canada for you.
So why, now, for the very first time in my life, do I feel like I left home to come here? It is a sad thing indeed when Provo Utah becomes so special to me that I am angry when I can't find coconut m&m's and when I look out the window and all the snow hasn't even melted yet.
Canada... have I betrayed you? Could I really have fallen in love with something else... the bigger, flashier, somewhat more proud, aggressive, arrogant and ignorant older sister who features bad chocolate and poor produce and heart disease?
I feel now, so very torn. I have never experienced this before. Always Canada has represented peace for me. And love. And joy. And kinder surprises. And good yogurt.
But America holds many people that I love. So, as I sit in Canada, my homeland, I have decided that I really want to be with you, people that I love. And most of you happen to live in America. Darn you all, for making the home for my heart move somewhere else.
So... for all you people, American loves of mine, I hope you feel honoured. I have left Canada for you.
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